January 2012
4 posts
RESOLUSI 2012
Hallo Ulla Freches Madchen…kembali lagi disini bersama yo mama africa no samba yo liberia dansa (?)
Hemm langsung saja, jadi begini, gue ingin membuat resolusi, ngga tau sih sebenernya penggunaan kata resolusi ini udh bener apa belum. Selain dibingungkan oleh resolusi kamera, jg gue belum pernah menggunakan kata resolusi sebelumnya, karena ya gue emg ga punya resolusi di tahun2...
2 tahun mautauajalo.tumblr
hallo ulla, gue lupa banget kalo tumblr gue tanggal 29 desember kemaren ulang tahun yg ke dua..uuu maaff yubbbsss lupa ma ultah qmooh, abisnya kamu belum jd friend q ciyy di fb….ternyata saya udh menumpahkan unek2 ga penting selama 2 tahun di tumblr, berarti saya udh nulis di blog selama kurang lebih 4 tahun ya hemm hemm, 2 tahun di blogspot dan sisanya di tumblr ckck (terus kenapa)
dan ini...
December 2011
15 posts
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Animal News and Animal Star
kembali lagi menemukan “harta karun” jaman smp (bahasanya bellemarina tuh harta karun), kali ini ttg koran2an jaman smp yg terbit cuma sekali LOL, abis udh nerbitin sekali males nerbitin lg, gatau ga ada ide atau males atau ada halangan apa, namanya jg anak smp kelas 1, masih super labil dan gampang bosen.
ANIMAL NEWS, TERBIT SETIAP KAMIS
EDISI PERTAMA. 1 SEPTEMBER 2005
beritanya...
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Berharap Jadi Ganteng, Seorang anak malah menjadi...
TAAZMAN LAWANG,ZIMBABWE - Seorang anak berinisial OI (18) datang ke salon bernma TAAZ di bilangan Taman lawang. Salon ini terkenal bisa me make over wajah orang dari jelek sampe jadi cakep. Bahkan katanya salon tersebut bisa membuat mpok nori terlihat seperti Demi Moore.
OI pun masuk ke salon itu dgn muka seperti ini:
sebenernya sudah mirip Nicholas Saputra (?),namun anak ini ingin mirip Tom...
November 2011
15 posts
probably
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Question to discuss: ---------->
are you naked
Stranger: no
You: no
You: why
Stranger: no idea why he/she asked.
You: i think he is horny
Stranger: probably..
You: and he want us to talk
You: about porn
Stranger: again; probably.
Stranger: another desperate fuck! >_<
You: probably
Stranger: mhm...probably!
Stranger: =Þ
You: gyahahaha probably
Stranger: so what now? we disconnect? ("probably" can be used here as well)
You: maybe we should answer this question :probably
Stranger: ok, the answer is: probably
You: okay lets disconnect
Stranger: wait!!!
Stranger: I'm not "probably naked"!!!!
You: wkwkwk
You: hahaha
You: probably, he is naked
Stranger: for a moment there, I was seriously suspecting you to probably be a duck going all kwaak on me.
Stranger: mhm..probably! =Þ
You: probably LOL
You: it's indonesian way to laugh: wkwkwkwk
You: i dont even know how it sounds
You: probably: wekwekwekwek
Stranger: "You an me, putting the bably back into probably" =Þ
You: LOL
Stranger: Indonesia ey? Jakarta?
You: probably :)
Stranger: Duck..."bebek"?
You: yep..probably
Stranger: Bebek goreng! =Þ yummy!
You: are you from indonesia too?
Stranger: not at all.
Stranger: other side of the world!
Stranger: about 20 hrs of flight-time.
You: or the one who ask the question..probably from indonesia
You: oooh probably in zimbabwe?
Stranger: uhm...probably not! >_<
Stranger: try europe, that's more probably. =)
You: wow bebek goreng????
Stranger: yupp, tasty! ;-)
You: oow europe? which country?
You: really? have you ever visited jakarta?
Stranger: one you've probably never heard of. it's far north in europe.
Stranger: indeed I have.
Stranger: or..."probably"! =Þ
You: north europe...probably...nigeria
Stranger: Babi bakar! =D
You: LOL
You: wow
Stranger: *pokes stranger* =Þ
You: where did u eat babi and bebek??
You: hahaha
Stranger: If you as much as HINT that I'm from fkn Africa one more time...I'll PROBABLY punch you in the face the next time I visit Indonesia! =Þ
You: hemmm...UK?
Stranger: Bali of course! Is'nt that where the grand majority of the tourists recide while in Indonesia? ;-)
Stranger: Close, but not probably! =Þ
You: probably
Stranger: Further north!
You: hahaha
You: emmm iceland??
Stranger: Ah, now we're closing in! I'm impressed by your geography-knowledge btw.
Stranger: Try a bit east from Iceland! ;-)
You: hemmm ireland
Stranger: That's south-east, I want you to go directly east from Iceland. ;-)
Stranger: Then you'll probably find the correct one! =Þ
You: i'll take globe
Stranger: yupp, you've already impressed me so you're allowed to cheat now! =D
You: norway?
You: lol
Stranger: That's probably correct! ;-DD
You: yeaaaayyyy
You: i win'
Stranger: actually, not probably. It IS correct.
Stranger: You win! =Þ
You: lol
You: so which flight did u take to indonesia from norway?
You: havent heard direct flight from there to indonesia
Stranger: well, several ones. Lufthansa + Qatar airways.
Stranger: And no direct flights.
You: ooh i see
You: is there any indonesian in norway?
Stranger: First form Norway to Germany, then Germany to Doha (arab emirates), then Doha to Singapore, then Singapore to Denpasahr
Stranger: well..not a large group, but yes; there's quite a few. =)
You: in indonesia, we called norway as norwegia
You: ooh such a long haul flight
Stranger: Heh..which btw, is the name of a norwegian cheese ("norvegia")! =DDDD
You: wow
Stranger: I belive Qatar airways have direct-flights from Norway to Doha now, AND directly from Doha to DPS. ;-)
Stranger: So it's possible to fly in less than 20 hrs.
Stranger: but it's more expensive.
Stranger: btw, what's your age, if I may know?
You: yeps
You: i am probably 99
You: LOL JK
You: im 18
You: u?
Stranger: probably not! =Þ
Stranger: ah...terima kasi!
Stranger: =)
Stranger:
Stranger: =Þ
You: sama2 :)
Stranger: *laughs* I had forgot "sama sama"! =D
Stranger: Even tho my gf is using it in daily speech here! hehe..=D
You: i should open google translate first to find what "terima kasih" in norwegian
You: ooh hehehe
Stranger: she likes learning new languages, and after only 1 month on Bali, she was able to have simple conversations in indonesian. ;-)
You: wow really?
Stranger: DAMN!! It was "kasih"! SO CLOSE! >_<
Stranger: "terima kasih" = "tusen takk" = "a thousand thanks"
Stranger: =DDD
You: LOL thats okay, as long as the people understand what youve said
You: wow i (probably) learn new language here
Stranger: yupp, besides; it's almost 3 yrs since I was on Bali so I believe I'm allowed to have forgotten alot! ;-)
Stranger: hehe..I doubt it! =Þ but you do indeed learn alot by visiting the country.
Stranger: btw, indonesian and norwegian pronouncations is VERY similar, just as you know. ;-)
You: i hope im as lucky as you, who can visit another country easily hehe
You: really? cool
Stranger: well, it's not THAT easily, but yeah. =)
Stranger: It's pretty expensive, even by our standards.
Stranger: And I do believe you're in the top-economical class on Indonesia. Otherwise you would'nt be online! =Þ
You: yep, and it is SO expensive for people who live in the rupiah's country LOL
Stranger: heh..yeah, I lol'd a bit when I was withdrawing money from the ATM's! =D
Stranger: 50,000,000rp's! =D
Stranger: I felt fkn rich!
You: nope you wrong, haha even "gelandangan" (homeless) can online everytime they want
Stranger: really? o_0
You: HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA
Stranger: how? I mean, how can they? inet-cafe's = expensive! and it's not like you have a portable-computer with wireless-internet if you're homeless, right? =D
You: yes and Rp 50.000 is equal to EUR 5...how poor is my country :'(
Stranger: mhm...but then again; when most things are as cheap as in Indonesia, you don't really HAVE to be rich by european standards, to actually live down there. ;-)
You: inet-cafe is so cheap here...u only need rp 2000..you can online for 1 hour
Stranger: ah..right, right! o_0
Stranger: btw, do you study or work?
You: thats right
You: im a student
You: how about you?
Stranger: studying...what?
You: medicine
Stranger:
Stranger: wow! not bad. =)
Stranger: well, have a go at some norwegian language-courses for a year or two while working in Indonesia, and I'm pretty sure you can get a job up here afterwards! =Þ
You: wow, in indonesia, working for the govt is so good, because chance to corrupt the money is huge LOL
Stranger: Norway really need doctors.
Stranger: *laughs* yeah, I noticed there's quite a bit of corruption down there. ;-)
You: really??? wow thanks for the info..
Stranger: fortunatly, I was the guest at some balinese friends of mine and they sort of "protected me".
You: what that mean?
Stranger: for the record; before you go all "omg I'm gonna be rich!!!!". doctors earn well up here, even by our standards, but you won't become rich! ;-) it's expensive to live here you know.
Stranger: well..it's along story about me and the indonesian gov'ment, but it turned out ok! ;-)
You: oooh nooo..........can i work there but live and spend money in indonesia?? lol
Stranger: yes you can, but it's not like you can live up here, and spend 90% of your paycheck in Indonesia! =D you'll need probably more than 50-60% of your paycheck only to pay the house-rent/mortgage, and almost as much on food, clothing, car, etc etc..
Stranger: btw, may I know what's your expected monthly paycheck when you're done studying and having a full-time doctors job in Jakarta?
Stranger: *curious*
You: emmm emmm in jakarta emm maybe about rp ********* if you are new doctor
You: new doctor doesnt mean you are fresh graduate
You: but it means you are the new 'competitor' in jakarta
Stranger: mhm...well, that's not bad actually! =))
You: doctor here..are competing to get patients
Stranger: that's far more than the avarage indonesian paycheck, right? ;-)
You: emmm yes
You: thats why so many indonesian wanna be doctor
You: medical school is so expensive here
Stranger: mhm..and probably why so many indonesian doctors gotta "compete" for the patients as well. ;-)
You: LOL
Stranger: so what made you go for the medical-studies instead of cruise-lines or one of the other more typical "I wanna get rich"-educations? =)
Stranger: I've got 4-5 indonesian friiends (3 from Bali, 2 from Java) who all went along and started working for some cruise-company.
You: well being a doctor is may passion
Stranger: the way they spoke, it sounded like it was "the indonesian dream" to become a bartender on a cruise-ship! =D
You: my father is a doctor..and I think he is cool
Stranger: ah, right! =)
You: hemmm
Stranger: so are we talking a "general public doctor" here, or will you specialize withing some field (i.e brain-surgery, eyes, orthopedic, etc etc..)?
You: really? i dont know that some indonesian wanna be a bartender LOL
You: i wanna be obstetrician
Stranger: ah..not bad! =)
Stranger: well, I really hope you'll achieve your goals! ;-)
Stranger: I gotta go now.
Stranger: gonna eat some lunch, and have a cigarette! ;-)
You: but....i should be general public doctor first before being obstetrician, because it is so expensive
You: okay see you :)
Stranger: mhm..take care, and thx for the chat! =)
You: thanks for all the sharing
Stranger: np, and sama sama! ;-D
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
ketika oemari menjadi seorang ibu (?)
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: daniella?
Stranger: yeah
You: good
Stranger: aaaddddrrrriiiiaaaannnn!!!!!!!!
You: I'm happy that u at home
You: no, im your mom
You: who is adrian?
You: is that your nerdy boyfriend?
Stranger: i need some milk mom
You: take it at the refrigerator
Stranger: i want yours
You: i just bought melon and vanila milk
You: sorry dear, this is belong to your father
Stranger: fuck him
You: when you have grown up, you can produce it and give it to adrian
You: he died 2 months ago dear
Stranger: my tits are bigger than yours
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
SAYA TAHU PASTI SI STRANGER INI LELAKI (?) MESUM BANGET SIH CKCKCK
I am your son :'(
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey
You: halo mamma
You: i miss you
You: long time no home
Stranger: umm what??
You: you are my mom
You: you forget bitch? how many kids do u have
Stranger: no
You: o really
You: so who are you?
You: are you my dad?
You: daddy please buy me a camel, so i can back home
Stranger: no who are you
You: I am your son you fag
Stranger: im a female
You: so?
Stranger: who r u???
You: dont you know that women can be father
Stranger: for real
You: I am your son
Stranger: i cant remember you
You: really? :'(
You: mommy :'(
Stranger: i havve brain damge
You: how many men have u been fucked
You: no you dont have brain damage, you just stupid
Stranger: shut up plz
You: why?
Stranger: stop callin me stuid
Stranger: stupid
You: im not calling you stuid im calling you mom
Stranger: okay
You: mommmyyyyyyyy...
Stranger: what
Stranger: hunn
You: why you keep silent
Stranger: ?
You: why mommy why mommy why mommy why mommy
Stranger: i dont know sweetie
You: im not sweet , im handsome
You: you should call me handsommie
Stranger: ok handsome
You: thanks mom
Stranger: ur welcome
Stranger: handsome i gotta go
Stranger: jk jk lol
Stranger: handsome plz talk to me
You: oke bye mom, go find money and cook a super duper delicious salad
You: y u no go to find money? :'(
You: mom im hungry
You: like hungary
Stranger: awhhh im tryiing
You: mom please cook a low fat salad
Stranger: okay i will
You: i dont want to be fat like 45 years old whore who had been fucked 10000 times
Stranger: huhh??
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
LOL gajelas bgt sih gue, udh lama ga ngerjain sih
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salah gue?...salah siomay gue??
Tadi sore gue beli siomay di deket rumah. si abang siomay berhenti di depan rumah orang. Karena lagi kepengen, jadinya gue beli siomay. Baru mau mesen siomay, tiba2 yg punya rumah keluar, dua orang, satu cowok satu cewek, apakah mereka sepasang kekasih? gue gatau dan ga peduli. lalu Karena gue duluan yg di deket abang siomay jd gue duluan yg mesen.
Pas mesen, gue blg “dibungkus ya...
Viagra itu beda dgn Porstex ya?
Tadi sore gue ke ACE hardware deket rumah
Gue: Mas ini saya nyari sarung tangan yg buat pake OBAT KUAT gitu mas
Mas ACE: sarung tangan buat make obat kuat?!
Gue: Iya supaya tangan ga kena pas bersihin kamar mandi.
Mas ACE: ooooh OBAT KERAS ya maksudnya, itu di ujung situ sarung tangannya
Gue: (Masih mikir...pas dikasir baru nyadar knp mas nya td agak shock)
A journey to Webster (Penjaringan)
Hallo ulla, Ulla udh lulus UNISO, tp ternyata ortu nya kurang sregh gitu karena mereka sendiri adalah lulusan UNISO dna mereka bilang di sana kurang enak. Jadinya kali ini Ulla tes lagi di BU (Benadir University, Kota Benadir, Somalia) ambil jurusan pendidikan dokter, karena di Somalia, FK BU merupakan yg terbaik di somalia. Doakan Ulla lulus ya teumands2..
20 november 2011
Kembali lagi hari...
A Journey to Grogol #2
Halo Ulla,
Ulla hari ini mau ujian saringan masuk, Universitas Nasional Somalia (UNISO) di Mogadishu. supaya mantap pas ujian, ia pun belajar di bus, dia keseriusan belajar, pas nengok ke jendela bus…pas nengok…ternyata dia udh di halte grogol trisakti, Jakarta, Indonesia…akhirnya dia ikut ujian Untar aja (?)
13 November 2011
Hari minggu yang cerah, sayang tak secerah muka gue....
A Journey to Grogol #1
31 Oktober 2011
Halo Ulla, Ulla mau ke Mogadishu University ,Somalia..naik busway dari dpn rumahnya, padet bgt bus nya sampe2 dia gabisa liat jendela. Ditunggu2 knp lama bgt nyampe nya,mungkin macet pikirnya. Pas udh agak sepian, dia liat jendela,ternyata dia udh di Grogol,Indonesia (?)
Hari ini gue daftar usm untar, LOL spt yg kita sudah ketahui, kmrn kan gue ga keterima kemana2, jd thn ini...
Anonymous asked: Not only do I like your blog (haha I found it) but I also am OBSESSED with you secretly. Ok here we go.. I got this idea from a Tumblr spam I got once lol.. I think you like me too and you were always too shy to admit it :3 go to crushmatches(dót)com (wtf it wont let me link regular) and make an account there. Then look up the profile 'gottagetme19' (me obviously) I left body...
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October 2011
13 posts
Va te faire foutre, trouduc (?)
welcomink novembrer
akhirnya november lagi, kembali sibuk ngurus2 in tes setelah 3 bulan vacuum, sok banget sih vacuum, situ sih vacuum cleaner…
semoga sih kali ini ga dicampakkan oleh universitas2 lagi, malah kalo bisa saya mencampakkan universitas nya (?) yakali…
semoga sih otak gue ga beku soal nya ga bimbel sama sekali, beku gapapa sih asal pas jawab ngasal bener semua dan...
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“Dear left leg of slut, Long time no see! Sincerely, right leg of slut…”
– Dear right leg of slut, maybe you should ask her to try new position, the ‘women on top’ made us never meet again, Sincerely,left leg of slut
LabilGirl vs Bitch
LabilGirl: "bitch, when the dentist says "open!" he means your mouth not your leg!"
Bitch: "really? I don't know that dentist prefers being blowed nowadays"
September 2011
5 posts
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formspring.me
ayo yg gabut tanya dong :( http://formspring.me/X24van
KuntilanakZimbabwe Telah difitnah
Dunia twitter Zimbabwe kembali dihebohkan oleh @KuntilanakZimbabwe. Detektif Kahaba melaporkan bahwa dirinya telah dikirimi sebuah email sarkastik dari KuntilanakZimbabwe (emailKuntizim@yahoo.co.zw)..isi email tsb tentang curhatan kekesalan arthur kutomba (pemilik akun kuntilanakzimbabwe) serta hinaan terhadap mantan presiden Zimbabwe (1980-1987), Canaan Banana.
Isi email tersebut adalah (email...
Kuntilanak juga Kuntilanak
Hallo Ulla,
Ulla mati kelindes bajaj, pdhl dia sedang hamil 2 tahun hasil hubungan gelap dgn gorila zimbabwe, akhirnya ia jd kuntilanak dan menghantui hutan di sekitar utara zimbabwe….
Dari kisah tersebut,munculah akun twitter @KuntilanakZimbabwe karena kuntilanak Ulla itu akhirnya sampai ke Kota Harare,ibukota Zimbabwe,setelah diusir oleh dukun gorila ternama bernama Lord Gorilamort....